It's essential to recognize that each individual's experiences and preferences in relationships are unique and complex, and there can be various reasons why someone might feel drawn to or tolerate mistreatment in relationships. While I don't have personal information about you, I can offer some general insights into possible psychological factors that could contribute to this pattern:
Familiarity and Comfort: Sometimes, people might be drawn to what is familiar, even if it's not healthy. If you grew up in an environment where mistreatment was prevalent, it could feel more "normal" to you, and you might unconsciously seek out similar dynamics in your relationships.
Low Self-Esteem: Individuals with low self-esteem might believe, consciously or unconsciously, that they don't deserve better treatment. As a result, they may stay in relationships that are harmful because they don't believe they can find something better or feel undeserving of love and respect.
Codependency: Codependency is a behavioral and emotional condition where a person relies on their partner for validation, self-worth, and well-being. They may feel they need to stay in a relationship, even if it's unhealthy, because they fear being alone or feel responsible for their partner's happiness.
Fear of Abandonment: A fear of being alone or abandoned might drive someone to stay in a toxic relationship rather than risk being single. They may believe that having a flawed relationship is better than no relationship at all.
Misinterpreting Love: Some individuals might confuse mistreatment with passion or intense love. They may associate drama and conflict with a deeper connection, which can lead them to seek out relationships that are emotionally charged, even if they're detrimental.
Seeking Validation: If you have unresolved emotional issues or past traumas, you might subconsciously seek validation or seek to heal those wounds by trying to "fix" or change someone who is mistreating you. This can lead to a cycle of trying to prove your worth through acceptance and love from someone who is unable to provide it in a healthy way.
Lack of Boundaries: Some people struggle to set and maintain healthy boundaries in relationships. They might tolerate mistreatment because they find it difficult to assert their needs, stand up for themselves, or communicate effectively.
It's crucial to remember that no one deserves to be treated poorly in a relationship, and you have the right to be respected, loved, and cared for in a healthy manner. If you recognize these patterns in yourself, consider seeking support from a therapist or counselor who can help you explore and address the underlying reasons behind these preferences. With professional guidance, you can work towards building healthier relationship dynamics and improve your overall well-being.