I'm sorry to hear that you're experiencing verbal abuse from your mom. Verbal abuse can be very hurtful and damaging, and it's essential to understand that it's not your fault. There could be several reasons why your mom behaves this way:
Unresolved personal issues: Your mom might be dealing with her own unresolved emotional issues or past traumas, leading her to take out her frustrations and pain on you.
Poor coping mechanisms: Some individuals resort to verbal abuse as a way of coping with stress, anxiety, or feelings of powerlessness. They may lack healthier ways to express their emotions or handle difficult situations.
Control and power: Verbal abuse can be a way for some individuals to maintain control and power over others. By using hurtful words and tactics, they may try to keep you in a submissive or vulnerable position.
Learned behavior: If your mom grew up in an environment where verbal abuse was prevalent, she might have learned these behaviors and patterns from her own upbringing.
Mental health issues: Sometimes, mental health problems, such as depression, anxiety, or personality disorders, can contribute to abusive behavior.
Lack of awareness: Your mom might not fully understand the impact of her words or may not realize the extent of the harm she's causing.
Cycle of abuse: Verbal abuse can be part of a larger cycle of abuse, which might include periods of tension-building, an abusive incident, and then a "honeymoon phase" where the abuser acts kind or apologetic, creating confusion and making it harder to leave the relationship.
Regardless of the reasons, it's crucial to remember that verbal abuse is not acceptable under any circumstances. Everyone deserves to be treated with respect and kindness. If you find yourself in such a situation, it's important to seek support and help.
Here are some steps you can consider:
Reach out for support: Talk to someone you trust, like a friend, family member, teacher, or school counselor, about what you're experiencing. They may be able to provide emotional support and help you find resources.
Set boundaries: If possible, calmly express to your mom how her words affect you and ask her to stop the abusive behavior. However, it's essential to prioritize your safety, and if confronting her might escalate the situation, consider skipping this step.
Seek professional help: Consider talking to a therapist or counselor who specializes in family dynamics and abuse. They can help you navigate your emotions, develop coping strategies, and explore options for addressing the situation.
Safety planning: If you believe you are in danger or at risk, create a safety plan. This plan should include strategies for keeping yourself safe and seeking help if needed.
Know your rights: Educate yourself about your rights and the resources available to you. In some countries, there are helplines or support services specifically for individuals experiencing abuse.
Remember that you don't have to face this alone. Reach out for help and support, and know that there are people who care about your well-being and want to assist you in finding a safe and healthy environment.