Feeling upset and wanting to distance yourself when your boyfriend doesn't spend time with you on the days you had planned to hang out is a valid emotional response. It's natural to feel disappointed or hurt when plans don't go as expected, especially if it happens repeatedly or without clear communication.
Open communication is crucial in any relationship. If your boyfriend is consistently canceling or not following through on plans without valid reasons, it's essential to address the issue and express how you feel. Here are some steps to consider:
Reflect on Your Feelings: Take some time to understand why you feel upset and why spending time together is important to you. Identifying your emotions and needs will help you communicate more effectively.
Choose the Right Time to Talk: Find a calm and appropriate moment to discuss your feelings with your boyfriend. Avoid having this conversation in the heat of the moment when emotions are running high.
Express Yourself Honestly: When you talk to your boyfriend, use "I" statements to express how you feel. For example, say, "I feel disappointed and hurt when our plans get canceled," rather than blaming or accusing.
Listen to His Perspective: Be open to hearing your boyfriend's side of the story. There might be legitimate reasons for the cancellations that you are not aware of.
Discuss Expectations: Talk about your expectations regarding spending time together and how you can both work on making plans that are more feasible and reliable.
Set Boundaries: If repeated cancellations become a pattern and cause you distress, consider setting boundaries and discussing what is acceptable in terms of communication and planning.
Assess the Relationship: Evaluate the overall health of the relationship and whether your needs and values align. Consistent disregard for your feelings may be a sign of deeper issues that need to be addressed.
Remember, every relationship requires effort and compromise from both partners. While it's okay to feel upset, it's equally important to communicate and work together to find solutions that satisfy both of your needs. If you find that the communication and effort from your partner are lacking or that your needs are consistently unmet, it may be worth reevaluating whether the relationship is fulfilling for you in the long term.