It can be challenging to distinguish between being in love with someone and being in love with the idea of love, but understanding the key differences can help you better navigate your feelings.
Emotions: When you're in love with someone, you genuinely care about them as an individual. You're interested in their thoughts, feelings, experiences, and overall well-being. On the other hand, when you're in love with the idea of love, it's more about the feelings you get from being in a relationship, such as companionship, security, and social status.
Acceptance: When you truly love someone, you accept their flaws and see them as a unique individual with their own strengths and weaknesses. If you're in love with the idea of love, you might find yourself ignoring or glossing over their flaws, or you might become quickly disillusioned when they do something that doesn't match up with your idealized vision of love.
Long-term perspective: True love typically involves a willingness to see a future with the other person, including the potential difficulties and life changes that can come. If you're more in love with the idea of love, you might focus more on the honeymoon phase and become less interested when the relationship requires more effort or when it becomes less exciting or romantic.
Dependence vs Independence: If you're truly in love, you appreciate the person for who they are and want them in your life, but you also understand and respect the importance of maintaining your individuality. When you're in love with the idea of love, you might become overly dependent on your partner or the relationship for your happiness, or you might feel lost or incomplete when you're single.
Expectations: True love involves understanding that a relationship consists of both good and challenging times. It includes taking on the hardships as well as the joys of being together. When you're in love with the idea of love, you might expect your relationship to be like a fairy tale or a romantic movie, with constant passion, devoid of disagreements or struggles.
Remember that it's perfectly normal and human to romanticize love or relationships to some extent, especially when we're younger or have less relationship experience. But it's also important to develop realistic expectations and to recognize and value the genuine connection and commitment that are at the heart of true love. It may help to discuss your feelings with a trusted friend, family member, or mental health professional to gain further clarity.