I'm sorry to hear that you're experiencing this in your relationship. While I cannot know the specifics of your boyfriend's behavior, I can offer some general possibilities as to why he might be backing out when you need him the most:
Fear or Avoidance: He might be afraid of the situation or feel overwhelmed by it, leading him to avoid facing it and supporting you.
Lack of Emotional Intelligence: Some individuals struggle to understand or express emotions, making it difficult for them to be there for others in times of need.
Personal Issues: Your boyfriend may be dealing with personal problems or stressors that make it challenging for him to provide support.
Communication Problems: Misunderstandings or a lack of open communication can lead to confusion about what each partner needs.
Emotional Distance: He might be emotionally distant or detached, making it difficult for him to connect with you on a deeper level.
Past Experiences: Previous negative experiences or traumas can influence how someone responds to certain situations.
Coping Mechanisms: People have different coping strategies, and sometimes withdrawing is how they handle difficult situations.
Regardless of the reason, it's essential to have an open and honest conversation with your boyfriend about how his actions make you feel. Communication is key in any relationship. Express your needs and emotions calmly, and encourage him to share his feelings as well.
If he continues to back out and doesn't show any willingness to change, you may need to evaluate if this relationship is meeting your emotional needs. It's important to be with someone who can support you in times of need and be emotionally available.
Remember that each person and relationship is unique, and these are just general possibilities. Professional guidance from a relationship counselor or therapist can be valuable in navigating these challenges together.