It's concerning that your girlfriend is scared of you, and it's crucial to address the situation in a healthy and understanding manner. Your statement, "I must do whatever I desire," can be interpreted in different ways, but it seems to be causing her fear and discomfort.
Here's what you should do:
Communication: Have an open and honest conversation with your girlfriend about her feelings and concerns. Let her express her emotions without judgment. Listen actively to what she has to say and try to understand her perspective.
Clarify your statement: During the conversation, explain what you meant by your statement. Be willing to provide context and ensure that she understands your intentions clearly. If there was a misunderstanding, make sure to clear it up.
Empathy and validation: Acknowledge her feelings and fears. Show empathy and validate her emotions. Let her know that her feelings are important to you, and you want to work together to address the issue.
Mutual boundaries: Discuss and establish healthy boundaries in the relationship. Both partners should feel comfortable expressing their desires and needs while respecting each other's limits. Understand that individual freedom within a relationship comes with responsibilities and respect for one another.
Respect and compromise: It's crucial to respect each other's feelings and work on finding compromises when there are conflicting desires. A relationship should be based on mutual respect and understanding.
Seek professional help: If the issue persists or the fear is deeply rooted, consider seeking couples counseling or individual therapy. A professional can help you both navigate through the concerns and facilitate healthier communication.
Self-reflection: Take time to reflect on your statement and consider whether it might have come across as controlling or harmful. Reflect on your own desires and actions to ensure they are aligned with a healthy and respectful relationship.
Remember, healthy relationships are built on trust, open communication, and mutual respect. Addressing and resolving these issues will require effort and understanding from both partners. If you genuinely care for your girlfriend, take her fears seriously and work together to create a safe and supportive relationship environment.