Question

My name is Brenda, am 26. I have been dating this guy for 6 years. I love him so much. When we had issues last year and he was going through a hard time, he got someone pregnant and they now have a baby. He told me when his baby mama was 7months pregnant. He says it was a one night mistake although they were kinda dating. He has apologized a million times and told me that he has made up his mind to marry me because he loves me, which makes no sense to me at all.<br></br>I am really struggling, I don't know what to do or whether to believe him in the first place. I have tried moving on since then but I can't. Am in love with him . What should I do?

Answer 1

I'm sorry to hear that you're going through such a challenging situation. Dealing with emotions and decisions in a long-term relationship can be incredibly difficult. It's important to take the time you need to carefully consider your feelings and the options available to you. Here are some steps to help you navigate this situation:

1. Give Yourself Time: Allow yourself the space and time to process your emotions. It's natural to feel hurt, betrayed, and confused after learning about your partner's actions. Take some time for self-reflection and healing.

2. Communication: Have open and honest conversations with your partner. Express your feelings and concerns, and ask him to be honest about his intentions and commitment to the relationship moving forward.

3. Evaluate Trust: Consider whether you can trust your partner again after what has happened. Trust is crucial in a relationship, and rebuilding it takes time, effort, and consistency from both parties.

4. Seek Support: Talk to friends, family, or a therapist about your feelings and concerns. Sharing your thoughts with others can offer valuable perspectives and emotional support.

5. Consider Your Needs and Happiness: Reflect on what you truly want and need in a relationship. Think about your long-term happiness and whether this relationship can provide the emotional security and fulfillment you desire.

6. Set Boundaries: If you decide to give the relationship another chance, establish clear boundaries and expectations moving forward. Ensure that your partner understands the importance of honesty and faithfulness.

7. Explore Other Options: If you find that rebuilding trust is difficult or if you feel continuously unhappy in the relationship, consider exploring other options. Sometimes, moving on can lead to new opportunities for personal growth and happiness.

Remember, you deserve to be in a relationship where you feel valued, respected, and loved. It's okay to take your time to make a decision, and you should never feel pressured to stay in a relationship that doesn't align with your needs and values. If you find it challenging to navigate these emotions on your own, seeking professional counseling or therapy can be beneficial. A therapist can offer guidance and support as you work through your feelings and make the best decision for yourself.