Question

What do I say to my baby daddy, who I left because he was abusive, I really want to cut him off from seeing our child I’ve found someone new and better, he treats me good and we are expecting. What do I do / what do I say?

Answer 1

When dealing with a situation like this, it's important to prioritize the well-being and safety of yourself and your child. Here are some steps you might consider:

1. Ensure Your Safety: If you left your baby daddy due to abuse, it's crucial to focus on your safety and that of your child. If you feel threatened or unsafe, reach out to local authorities or support organizations for help and guidance.

2. Seek Legal Advice: Depending on the laws in your country or state, you may want to consult with a family lawyer to understand your rights and the legal process surrounding custody arrangements. A lawyer can help guide you through the steps of seeking full custody or supervised visitation if that is necessary for the safety of your child.

3. Communicate Clearly: If you decide to speak with your baby daddy about your decision, be clear and firm about your reasons for wanting to cut off contact. Use "I" statements to express your feelings and avoid blaming language. Let him know that your priority is the safety and well-being of your child.

4. Focus on Your Child: Emphasize that your decision is not about punishing him but rather about ensuring a safe and stable environment for your child. Reiterate that you will always prioritize your child's best interests.

5. Maintain Boundaries: If you decide to allow any form of contact or visitation, set clear boundaries and expectations. This might include supervised visitation or involving a neutral third party in communication.

6. Document Everything: Keep a record of any past instances of abuse or concerning behavior, as well as any communication related to custody arrangements. This documentation may be helpful if legal action becomes necessary.

7. Seek Emotional Support: Dealing with these situations can be emotionally challenging. Reach out to friends, family, or a therapist for support and guidance throughout this process.

Remember, this is a complex and sensitive situation, and seeking professional advice from a lawyer or counselor is essential to help you make the best decisions for you and your child's future.