It sounds like you're in a very challenging and emotionally distressing situation. Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation in which one person seeks to make another doubt their perception, memory, or reality. It can be highly detrimental to the victim's mental health and sense of self.
If you find yourself in a situation where your boyfriend is gaslighting you and turning the tables by accusing you of doing the same, here are some steps to consider:
Recognize the manipulation: Understand that gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse. It's essential to recognize when it's happening so that you can protect yourself from its effects.
Seek support: Reach out to friends, family, or a therapist who can provide a safe space to talk about your experiences and feelings. Having support can help you validate your experiences and reinforce your sense of reality.
Set boundaries: Establish clear boundaries with your boyfriend. Let him know that gaslighting and emotional manipulation are unacceptable in the relationship. Be prepared to enforce these boundaries if necessary.
Document incidents: Keep a journal or record of specific incidents where gaslighting occurs. Having a written record can help you stay grounded in your reality and also provide evidence if you decide to seek professional help or end the relationship.
Consider professional help: If the gaslighting continues and is causing significant distress, consider seeking help from a therapist or counselor experienced in dealing with abusive relationships. They can provide guidance and support tailored to your specific situation.
Plan for your safety: If you feel unsafe or fear potential escalation, create a safety plan. This may involve identifying a safe place to go, having important documents ready, and reaching out to a support network or local domestic violence resources.
Evaluate the relationship: Take a step back and honestly assess whether the relationship is healthy and beneficial for you. If gaslighting and emotional abuse persist despite your efforts to address the issue, it may be time to consider ending the relationship.
Remember, you deserve to be treated with respect, kindness, and empathy in any relationship. If your boyfriend is unwilling to change his behavior or denies his gaslighting actions, it may be necessary to prioritize your well-being and consider ending the relationship for your mental and emotional health. Ending a relationship can be challenging, but it's essential to prioritize your safety and well-being above all else.