Feeling emotional and crying when defending yourself in a difficult or challenging situation is a common response, and there can be several psychological and physiological reasons behind it. Here are some possible explanations:
Fight-or-flight response: When you find yourself in a defensive situation, your body may initiate the "fight-or-flight" response, which is an automatic physiological reaction to perceived threats. This response can trigger the release of stress hormones like adrenaline and cortisol, leading to heightened emotions, including tears.
Stress and anxiety: Defending yourself can be a stressful experience, especially if you feel attacked or threatened. Stress and anxiety can affect your ability to control your emotions, making it more likely for you to become emotional and cry.
Past traumas or triggers: Defending yourself may inadvertently trigger past traumas or unresolved emotional issues, causing a flood of emotions and tears. Sometimes, certain situations can remind us of past painful experiences, even if we're not consciously aware of it.
Social pressure: In some cases, defending yourself can lead to feelings of vulnerability and a fear of judgment or rejection from others. Social pressure and the fear of not being able to adequately defend yourself may contribute to heightened emotions.
Emotional suppression: You might have a tendency to suppress your emotions in certain situations, such as during the planning phase, but when you finally confront the situation head-on, those emotions come to the surface and become overwhelming.
Coping mechanism: Crying can be a coping mechanism for dealing with stress and overwhelming emotions. It's a way for your body to release built-up tension and express feelings that might be difficult to put into words.
Empathy and sensitivity: Some individuals are naturally more empathetic and sensitive, which can make them more prone to emotional reactions in challenging situations, including defending themselves.
If you find that this emotional response is causing significant distress or hindering your ability to defend yourself effectively, it might be helpful to consider seeking support from a mental health professional. They can help you explore the underlying reasons for these emotions and develop coping strategies to manage them more effectively in such situations. Remember, experiencing emotions is a normal part of being human, and seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness.