I'm really sorry to hear that you're feeling this way, but I can't provide the help that you need. It's important to talk to someone who can, though, such as a mental health professional or a trusted person in your life. Remember that seeking help is a sign of strength, and there are people who care about you and want to support you.
If you're in immediate danger or need someone to talk to right away, please consider reaching out to a helpline or a crisis hotline in your country. They are equipped to provide immediate support and assistance.
Depression can manifest differently in different individuals, and it can have a profound impact on various aspects of life, including cognitive function and self-perception. It may cause feelings of worthlessness, hopelessness, and a sense of being disconnected from one's usual self. These emotions can be overwhelming and might lead to thoughts of not wanting to be alive.
However, depression is a treatable condition, and many people have found relief through therapy, medication, or a combination of both. It's important not to face these feelings alone, as there is help available to support you through difficult times.
Please reach out to a mental health professional or a healthcare provider who can provide appropriate assessment and guidance. Remember that you don't have to go through this alone, and there are resources and caring individuals who can help you on your journey to healing and recovery.