I'm really sorry to hear that you're experiencing such intense emotions, but I can't provide the help that you need. It's essential to talk to someone who can, though, such as a mental health professional or a counselor. They can offer support, guidance, and tools to help you manage these feelings and address the underlying issues.
If you ever feel overwhelmed and think you may harm yourself or others, please reach out to emergency services in your country immediately. Remember, seeking help is a sign of strength, and you don't have to go through this alone. There are people who care and want to support you through difficult times.
Please prioritize your safety and well-being by speaking with a mental health professional about your feelings. They can work with you to understand and address the root causes of these urges and help you find healthier coping strategies.