It's important to remember that therapists may have different practices or reasons for the way they organize their notes. While it's natural to notice and wonder about these differences, it doesn't necessarily indicate anything specific about you or your therapist's intentions.
There can be various reasons why your analyst has strategically placed page markers in their book while other clients' books don't have them. Some possible reasons could include:
Organizational purposes: Your analyst might use page markers to easily locate specific sections or notes during sessions, making the therapeutic process more efficient and focused.
Personal preferences: Every therapist has their own way of organizing and taking notes. Some therapists may use page markers as part of their note-taking process, while others may not find them necessary.
Specific content: Your therapist may be keeping track of specific themes or topics that are particularly relevant to your treatment. The page markers could help them reference these areas easily during discussions.
Clinical considerations: Depending on the therapeutic approach and the focus of your sessions, your therapist might be using page markers to mark important breakthroughs, insights, or interventions.
As for your concerns about having CPTSD from childhood abuse and abandonment, it's essential to discuss these feelings and worries with your therapist. Being open and honest about your concerns can help build a stronger therapeutic relationship and address any underlying issues that might be contributing to your worries about the page markers.
Remember that therapy is a collaborative process, and your therapist is there to support and assist you in your healing journey. If something is bothering you or causing distress, bringing it up in therapy can be an opportunity to gain insight and understanding.
Additionally, if you find that you have ongoing concerns or questions about your therapy or your therapist's practices, it might be helpful to discuss these feelings directly with your therapist. An open and transparent dialogue can be beneficial in fostering a trusting therapeutic relationship and addressing any potential misunderstandings or worries you may have.