It's not uncommon for individuals to find it challenging to make eye contact or focus on their therapist during therapy sessions, especially for those who have experienced trauma or have social anxiety. There could be several reasons why you feel more comfortable looking out the window during therapy:
Safety and Avoidance: Looking out the window might feel safer for you because it allows you to avoid direct eye contact with the therapist. Eye contact can feel intense and vulnerable, and it might trigger discomfort or anxiety.
Distraction and Regulation: Looking out the window can serve as a way to distract yourself from the intensity of the therapy session and help regulate your emotions. It might provide a point of focus that feels less overwhelming.
Processing Space: Some people find that gazing into the distance or looking at nature outside the window creates a calming and grounding effect. This might facilitate the processing of emotions and thoughts during the therapy session.
Communication Style: For some individuals, looking away or avoiding eye contact is a natural communication style, and it doesn't necessarily indicate discomfort or avoidance.
Past Trauma: If you have a history of trauma, making eye contact might be associated with negative experiences or feelings of vulnerability, leading you to avoid it as a protective measure.
Social Anxiety: Social anxiety can make eye contact particularly challenging, even in a therapeutic setting. It's a common symptom of social anxiety to avoid direct eye contact to reduce feelings of self-consciousness or fear of judgment.
It's essential to communicate your feelings and experiences with your therapist openly. They are trained to understand and work with various communication styles and can provide a supportive and non-judgmental space for you to express yourself comfortably.
If you find that making eye contact or speaking in the therapy room is consistently difficult, you can discuss this with your therapist. They can help you explore the underlying reasons and work together to find strategies that make you feel more at ease during sessions. Remember that therapy is a collaborative process, and your therapist is there to support you in your healing journey.