Question

When my wife and I argue, she will shove me across the room or stand in the doorway preventing me from leaving. Is this abuse? What should I do?

Answer 1

I'm really sorry to hear that you're experiencing such a distressing situation. Yes, what you have described - physical aggression and preventing you from leaving - can be considered abusive behavior. Both actions are unacceptable and violate your boundaries and safety.

Here are some steps you can take to address this situation:

1. Ensure your immediate safety: If you are in immediate danger, try to find a safe place away from your wife. Your safety should be your top priority.

2. Talk to someone you trust: Reach out to friends, family, or a support network and talk about what you are experiencing. Having someone you can confide in can provide emotional support.

3. Seek professional help: Consider speaking to a therapist, counselor, or contacting a domestic violence hotline. These professionals can offer guidance and resources to help you deal with the situation.

4. Document incidents: If it is safe to do so, keep a record of any abusive incidents, including dates, descriptions, and any injuries sustained.

5. Seek legal advice: Consult with an attorney who specializes in domestic violence cases to understand your legal rights and options.

6. Set boundaries: In a safe and calm environment, communicate your boundaries to your wife. Let her know that her actions are not acceptable and that you will not tolerate abusive behavior.

7. Consider couples therapy: If both you and your wife are willing, couples therapy could be an option to work on communication and address underlying issues in the relationship. However, please keep in mind that couples therapy is not recommended in situations where there is ongoing abuse.

8. Explore support resources: Reach out to domestic violence support organizations that can offer advice, resources, and assistance tailored to your situation.

9. Create a safety plan: If you decide to leave or need to create a plan for your safety, consider developing a safety plan with the help of professionals or support organizations.

Remember, abuse is never justified, and seeking help and support is crucial. Your safety and well-being should always be a priority. If you are unsure where to turn, don't hesitate to contact a domestic violence hotline or a local support organization for guidance and assistance.