Yes, it can be considered abusive behavior if your boyfriend yells at you and gets mad when you try to wake him up after he has explicitly told you to do so. This behavior is manipulative, controlling, and disrespectful. It puts you in a lose-lose situation where you are criticized and blamed, regardless of what you do.
Healthy relationships are built on communication, respect, and understanding. Yelling and getting angry over a situation like this is not an appropriate or constructive way to handle a disagreement or frustration. It's essential to address this behavior and communicate your feelings with your boyfriend.
Here are some steps you can consider:
Reflect on the pattern: Look for any recurring behaviors or signs of emotional manipulation and control in your relationship.
Open communication: Find a calm and safe time to talk with your boyfriend about how his reactions make you feel. Use "I" statements to express your emotions, such as "I feel hurt when you yell at me for trying to wake you up."
Set boundaries: Establish clear boundaries about how you expect to be treated in the relationship. Respect is a fundamental aspect of any healthy partnership.
Seek counseling: If the behavior continues, consider seeking couples counseling or individual therapy. A professional can help both of you address underlying issues and work towards healthier communication.
Take care of yourself: Prioritize your well-being and remember that you have the right to be treated with respect and kindness.
If your boyfriend is unwilling to change his behavior or dismisses your feelings, it may be a sign of a deeper issue in the relationship. If you feel unsafe or uncomfortable, don't hesitate to reach out to friends, family, or support services for help and guidance. Remember that you deserve to be in a relationship where you are treated with love, respect, and understanding.