Question

Help! -My boyfriend recently told me that he slapped his ex girlfriend 2 times because she was also violent and an emotional abuser. He also regrets it and he is very much in love with me and kind to me, what should I do, should I trust him?

Answer 1

Trust is a crucial aspect of any healthy relationship, and it's essential to consider several factors when making decisions about your partner's past actions. Here are some steps to help you navigate this situation:

1. Communicate openly: Have an honest and open conversation with your boyfriend about his past actions. Let him explain his side of the story and express his regrets. Ask any questions you may have to gain a deeper understanding of the situation.

2. Assess his remorse and growth: Pay attention to how remorseful he is for his past actions and whether he has taken steps to change and grow as a person. People can learn from their mistakes and become better individuals.

3. Evaluate the context: While physical violence is never acceptable, it's essential to understand the context surrounding the incidents. Was it a one-time mistake, or is there a pattern of violence in his past? Context matters, but it doesn't excuse violence.

4. Consider his behavior with you: Take into account how he treats you in your relationship. Is he respectful, kind, and non-violent towards you? If he has genuinely changed and learned from his past, his current actions should reflect that.

5. Seek professional advice: If you find it challenging to make a decision or if you have concerns about your safety, consider seeking advice from a therapist or counselor who can offer guidance based on your specific situation.

6. Prioritize your safety: Your safety and well-being should always be the top priority. If you ever feel threatened or unsafe, it's essential to remove yourself from the situation and seek support from friends, family, or professionals.

Ultimately, the decision to trust your boyfriend is up to you. Trust is built over time through consistent actions, open communication, and mutual respect. It may take time to work through these feelings, but remember that you deserve to be in a healthy and loving relationship. If you feel uncertain or uneasy about your boyfriend's past actions, taking the time to process your emotions and seeking professional guidance can be helpful.