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It's challenging when a friend maintains a connection with someone who has hurt you, especially when you've shared your experiences with them. Here are some steps you can consider taking:

  1. Have an Honest Conversation: Sit down with your friend and express how you feel. Share your concerns and discomfort regarding her continued friendship with your abusive ex-boyfriend. Be open and honest about how it affects you emotionally.

  2. Listen to Her Perspective: Try to understand her point of view as well. She may have her reasons for staying friends with him, and it's essential to hear her side of the story.

  3. Set Boundaries: If you feel that being around your abusive ex-boyfriend is harmful to your healing process or mental well-being, let your friend know that you may need some space from her when she's with him.

  4. Emphasize Your Safety: Remind your friend of the abusive behavior you experienced and how important it is for you to prioritize your safety and well-being.

  5. Seek Support Elsewhere: If your friend continues to maintain the friendship despite your concerns, consider finding support from other friends, family members, or support groups who are more understanding of your situation.

  6. Focus on Self-Care: Take care of yourself and prioritize your emotional and mental health. Surround yourself with people who genuinely care about you and support your well-being.

  7. Professional Help: If dealing with the aftermath of the abusive relationship is challenging, consider seeking support from a therapist or counselor. They can help you process your emotions and provide guidance on how to navigate difficult situations like this.

  8. Acceptance and Letting Go (if necessary): As difficult as it may be, sometimes we have to accept that not all friendships are meant to last forever. If your friend chooses to prioritize her friendship with your ex over your feelings, it might be necessary to distance yourself from that friendship for your own well-being.

Remember that it's okay to prioritize your own mental and emotional health. True friends should be understanding, supportive, and considerate of your feelings. If your friend is unable to provide that support, it may be time to reevaluate the dynamics of your friendship.

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