It's essential to remember that every individual's situation is unique, and there may be various underlying reasons. Some potential reasons why you might keep going back to an abusive husband include:
Trauma bonding: Abusive relationships can create a complex emotional bond, often referred to as trauma bonding. This bond can make it challenging to break free from the relationship, as there may be moments of kindness or love mixed with the abusive behavior, leading to confusion and attachment.
Low self-esteem: Abusers often manipulate their partners' self-esteem and self-worth, making them believe they deserve the mistreatment or that they won't find someone else who will love them. Low self-esteem can make it difficult to leave the relationship.
Dependency: If you are financially dependent on your husband or emotionally reliant on him, it can be daunting to envision life without him, even if the relationship is abusive.
Fear: Abusers often use threats and intimidation to control their partners. Fear of retaliation, harm to yourself or loved ones, or fear of being alone can make leaving seem like a dangerous option.
Isolation: Abusers often isolate their partners from friends and family, making it harder to seek help or support outside of the relationship.
Hope for change: You may hold on to the hope that your husband will change or that things will get better, especially during periods of calm or remorse from the abuser.
Cultural or societal pressures: In some cultures or societies, there may be stigma or pressure to stay in a marriage, even if it is abusive.
Guilt or responsibility: Abusers may manipulate their partners into believing that the abuse is their fault or that they deserve it, leading to feelings of guilt or responsibility for the abusive behavior.
It's important to recognize that leaving an abusive relationship can be extremely difficult and complicated due to the emotional and psychological dynamics involved. If you find yourself in this situation, consider seeking help from a therapist, counselor, or support group experienced in dealing with abusive relationships. They can provide guidance, understanding, and resources to help you navigate the process of breaking free from the abusive cycle. Remember that your safety and well-being should be the top priority, and you don't have to face this alone.