I'm really sorry to hear that you're going through such a challenging and distressing situation. Infidelity and emotional/verbal abuse can create a toxic and harmful dynamic in a relationship. It's important to remember that nobody deserves to be abused, regardless of past mistakes.
Here are some steps you can consider taking:
Prioritize Your Safety: If you are in immediate danger or fear for your safety, reach out to friends, family, or authorities for help. Your safety should always be the top priority.
Seek Support: Reach out to friends, family, or a support network who can offer understanding, empathy, and assistance during this difficult time.
Consider Professional Help: Individual therapy can be beneficial for both you and your partner. A qualified therapist can help you explore your feelings, cope with guilt, and address the underlying issues in the relationship.
Set Boundaries: If the relationship is becoming emotionally or verbally abusive, it's crucial to set clear boundaries and communicate your expectations for respectful treatment.
Address the Infidelity: While it doesn't excuse abusive behavior, it's essential to address the infidelity and take responsibility for your actions. Couples therapy can be helpful in working through these issues together.
Reflect on the Relationship: Take some time to reflect on whether the relationship is healthy and fulfilling for both you and your partner. Assess if there are patterns of behavior that are not improving despite efforts to address them.
Consider a Break: If the situation is becoming too overwhelming, consider taking a break from the relationship to gain clarity and perspective. A break can help both you and your partner evaluate the relationship's future.
Educate Yourself: Learn about healthy relationships, communication, and conflict resolution. Knowledge can empower you to make better decisions moving forward.
Remember, you are not responsible for your partner's abusive behavior. While cheating can be hurtful, it does not justify emotional or verbal abuse. If your partner is unwilling to seek help or change their behavior, it might be necessary to consider ending the relationship for your well-being.
Consider reaching out to a therapist or counselor for individual support and guidance in navigating this challenging situation. They can help you explore your emotions, cope with guilt, and assist you in making decisions that prioritize your well-being and safety.