Being bothered by hearing other people say "um" or "uh" is a common reaction, but it's essential to recognize that it's a natural part of human speech. Many people use these filler words unconsciously while they gather their thoughts or give themselves a moment to think. If you find yourself bothered by this, consider the following strategies to overcome the irritation:
Practice Empathy: Remind yourself that everyone has their unique speaking style and habits. Filler words are a normal part of communication, and most people use them without even realizing it. Cultivate empathy by understanding that these habits don't detract from the person's intelligence or value.
Focus on the Message: Concentrate on the content of what the person is saying rather than getting distracted by the filler words. When you actively listen to the message, you'll be less likely to fixate on the fillers.
Recognize Your Own Language Habits: Pay attention to your own speech patterns and habits. You might realize that you use filler words too. Understanding that this is a natural aspect of communication can help you be more tolerant of others doing the same.
Practice Active Listening: Engage in active listening techniques, such as making eye contact, nodding, and paraphrasing what the person said. Active listening keeps you more focused on the conversation, reducing your attention on the filler words.
Be Mindful of Your Reactions: When you hear "um" or "uh," be mindful of any negative reactions you might have. Train yourself to let go of the irritation and remain present in the conversation.
Remind Yourself of Communication Challenges: Some people may use filler words more frequently due to nervousness, language barriers, or other communication challenges. Keeping this in mind can foster understanding and patience.
Practice Relaxation Techniques: If the irritation persists, practice relaxation techniques such as deep breathing or mindfulness exercises. These can help you manage your reactions and remain calm during conversations.
Educate Yourself: Learn more about the reasons people use filler words. Understanding the psychology behind these habits can make you more accepting of them.
Positive Reinforcement: When someone is making an effort to speak or present, focus on the positive aspects of their communication rather than nitpicking filler words.
Practice Gratitude: Shift your focus to gratitude and appreciation for the opportunity to engage in meaningful conversations with others.
Over time, with increased awareness and intentional effort, you can reduce the impact of hearing filler words in conversation. Embracing a more accepting and empathetic mindset will lead to more positive and constructive interactions with others.