It can be deeply distressing and frustrating when you confide in someone about an abusive situation, such as your husband's abusive behavior, and they don't respond in the way you hope or expect. There could be various reasons why your mom continues to spend time with your husband despite your concerns:
Lack of Awareness: Your mom may not fully understand the extent of the abuse or may not recognize it as abusive behavior. Sometimes, abusive individuals can present a different persona to others, making it challenging for outsiders to see the abuse.
Denial or Minimization: Even if your mom is aware of some issues, she might be downplaying or rationalizing his behavior, thinking it's not as bad as you describe or believing that he will change.
Emotional Attachments: Your mom may have her reasons for maintaining a relationship with your husband, such as long-standing bonds, emotional attachment, or shared history. It can be challenging for someone to sever ties with a person they've known for a long time, even if there are significant problems in the relationship.
Hope for Change: She might have hope that your husband will change or that the situation will improve over time, and she wants to be there to support him during that process.
Fear of Estrangement: There could be concerns that confronting your husband's behavior might lead to a strained relationship with him, causing further complications within the family.
Misguided Loyalty: Sometimes, family members can prioritize loyalty to the family unit over the well-being of an individual. This misplaced loyalty can prevent them from taking appropriate action.
Guilt or Responsibility: Your mom might feel responsible for your husband's behavior in some way, or she might feel guilty about his actions and want to support him rather than taking a stance against him.
It's crucial to remember that every individual's motivations and emotions are complex and unique. Rather than making assumptions, try having an open and honest conversation with your mom about your concerns. Share your feelings, experiences, and the impact your husband's behavior has on you. Encourage her to attend therapy sessions with you or alone to discuss the situation and gain professional insights.
Ultimately, while you may wish for your mom's support and validation, it's essential to prioritize your own well-being and safety. Seek support from friends, other family members, or professionals who can help you navigate the challenges of an abusive relationship and explore your options for personal growth and healing.