Question

How do you get through to your family when you’re the scapegoat of the family, and have been your narcissistic mother’s victim, while she loved everyone else? How do you scream “abuse!” when people don't acknowledge emotional and verbal abuse?

Answer 1

Dealing with being the scapegoat in a family, especially when facing emotional and verbal abuse from a narcissistic parent, can be an incredibly challenging and painful experience. It's important to remember that you are not alone, and there are steps you can take to address these issues and seek support:

1. Seek professional help: Consider talking to a therapist or counselor who specializes in family dynamics, narcissistic abuse, or trauma. They can provide you with valuable insights, coping strategies, and emotional support tailored to your situation.

2. Set boundaries: Establishing and maintaining healthy boundaries with your family can be crucial for your emotional well-being. This might mean limiting contact with toxic family members or being clear about what behaviors you will not tolerate.

3. Build a support network: Reach out to friends, support groups, or online communities where you can connect with people who have had similar experiences. Sharing your feelings and experiences with others who understand can be therapeutic.

4. Educate yourself: Learn about narcissistic personality disorder and its effects on family dynamics. Understanding the underlying issues can help you process your emotions and cope better.

5. Practice self-care: Take care of yourself physically and emotionally. Engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation, such as hobbies, exercise, or mindfulness practices.

6. Keep a journal: Writing about your experiences and feelings can be cathartic and help you gain clarity and perspective on the situation.

7. Consider a family intervention: If you believe your family members might be willing to listen, you can try organizing an intervention with the help of a therapist. This can be a way to express your feelings and experiences in a supportive environment.

8. Engage in assertive communication: When discussing your feelings and experiences, try to use "I" statements to express your emotions and avoid being confrontational.

9. Consider limiting or cutting off contact: If you find that your attempts to communicate or set boundaries are not effective and your emotional well-being continues to suffer, you may need to consider reducing or cutting off contact with toxic family members for your own safety and mental health.

Remember that healing from emotional abuse takes time and support. Be patient with yourself, and don't hesitate to reach out for help from professionals or support networks. Your feelings and experiences are valid, and you deserve to be treated with respect and compassion.