In Islam, parents are given a high status and are entitled to respect, care, and kindness from their children. This includes both mothers and fathers. Treating parents with love and compassion, especially in their old age, is emphasized in Islamic teachings. However, Islam also recognizes that parents should fulfill their responsibilities towards their children and treat them justly and kindly.
If a mother mistreats her adult daughter with curses, abuse, and sarcasm, it is considered unjust and goes against Islamic teachings. Islam encourages family harmony, kindness, and understanding, and it discourages any form of abuse or harm, whether it is physical, emotional, or psychological.
Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: "The best of you is he who is best to his family, and I am the best among you to my family." (Tirmidhi)
In another narration, the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "The most perfect believer in faith is the one whose character is finest and who is kindest to his wife." (Tirmidhi)
In the case of abusive behavior from a parent, including a mother, towards her adult daughter, the daughter should not retaliate with further abuse but should seek a balanced and respectful way to address the issue. Here are some steps she can consider:
Seek reconciliation: If it is safe to do so, try to have a calm and honest conversation with the mother about how her behavior is affecting you emotionally and mentally.
Involve a mediator: If direct communication is difficult, consider involving a trusted family member, religious leader, or counselor to mediate the conversation and facilitate understanding.
Pray for guidance and patience: Turn to prayer for strength, guidance, and patience in dealing with the situation.
Maintain distance if necessary: If the abuse becomes unbearable or harmful, it may be necessary to maintain some distance for your emotional and mental well-being.
Seek support from others: Reach out to other family members, friends, or a support group for emotional support during this difficult time.
Remember Islamic teachings: Always remember the Islamic emphasis on kindness and forgiveness. Even if the relationship is strained, maintain respectful behavior and seek forgiveness from Allah for any wrong actions.
Seek professional help: If the abuse continues or escalates, consider seeking professional help from counselors or therapists who can provide guidance on coping with difficult family situations.
It is important to note that while Islam encourages kindness and respect towards parents, it also acknowledges that a person should not obey or tolerate abusive behavior that goes against Islamic principles. Islam does not condone or support abuse in any form, and individuals have the right to protect themselves from harm while maintaining respectful conduct.
Each situation is unique, so it's important for the adult daughter to seek guidance from knowledgeable and compassionate sources, such as religious scholars or counselors, who can provide advice specific to her circumstances.