It's clear that you value your therapeutic relationship and that you have developed a sense of trust with your therapist over the course of eight years. However, it seems there might be some miscommunication or unresolved issues related to your abandonment issues and trust in the therapeutic process. Here are some steps you can take to address the situation:
Open Communication: Schedule an additional session with your therapist to discuss your feelings and concerns openly. Express that you do trust her and that you don't want her to leave. Share your struggles with trusting others due to abandonment issues, and how this might be impacting your perception of the therapeutic relationship.
Explore Your Feelings: Use the therapy sessions to explore the underlying reasons for your feelings of mistrust and accusations of lying. Understand that it is not uncommon for individuals with abandonment issues to have difficulties trusting others, even those they feel close to, and this might be playing a role in your interactions with your therapist.
Reflect on Past Experiences: Reflect on any past experiences or events that might have contributed to your fear of abandonment and difficulties with trust. Understanding the root causes can help you and your therapist work together to address these issues more effectively.
Consider More Intensive Therapy: If your therapist has suggested more intensive therapy, such as more frequent sessions or a different therapeutic approach, take some time to consider the options. This could be an opportunity for deeper exploration and healing.
Seek Support: In addition to therapy, consider seeking support from friends, family, or support groups that focus on abandonment issues or related concerns. Engaging in a support network can complement your therapeutic journey and provide additional avenues for understanding and healing.
Work on Emotional Regulation: Developing healthy emotional regulation skills can help you navigate difficult emotions and reactions in various situations, including therapy. Your therapist can assist you in developing these skills.
Patience and Understanding: Remember that therapy is a process, and it can take time to work through deep-seated issues like abandonment and trust. Be patient with yourself and the therapeutic process as you gradually address and heal from these challenges.
It's important to acknowledge that therapy is a collaborative process, and your active involvement in the process is crucial for its success. If you continue to find it challenging to work through your feelings and issues with your current therapist, you may also consider seeking a second opinion or exploring the possibility of working with a different therapist who specializes in attachment and abandonment issues. The key is finding a therapeutic relationship where you feel safe, supported, and understood as you work towards healing and personal growth.