There can be several factors that contribute to a parent having an exaggerated sense of their individuating son's self-centeredness and feeling pressure from a psychologist to form social connections outside the family. Here are some potential reasons:
Overprotective Parenting: Overprotective parents may struggle to let go of their child and allow them to develop independence. They might interpret their child's desire for autonomy and forming connections outside the family as a rejection or a sign of self-centeredness, when in reality, it's a natural part of growing up.
Attachment Issues: The parent may have their own attachment issues or insecurities, leading them to feel anxious or threatened by their child's desire to establish relationships outside the family. They may be overly sensitive to any perceived signs of detachment or independence.
Projection: Sometimes, parents project their own fears or experiences onto their child. They may have struggled with forming social connections themselves or had negative experiences in their past, causing them to be overly concerned about their child's social life.
Cultural or Generational Differences: Some cultures or generations may have different expectations regarding the level of autonomy and socialization children should have. A parent from a more traditional background might find it challenging to understand or accept their child's desire for more independence.
Personal Insecurities: The parent might have personal insecurities or feelings of inadequacy that are triggered when their child seeks connections outside the family. They might interpret this as a sign that they are not good enough or that their child is rejecting them.
Miscommunication with the Psychologist: There could be miscommunication between the parent and the psychologist. The psychologist might be encouraging the child's healthy social development, but the parent might perceive it as excessive pressure or interference in their parenting style.
Fear of Losing Influence: Some parents may fear that as their child forms connections outside the family, they might lose their influence or control over their child's decisions and values.
It's essential for the psychologist to navigate these dynamics sensitively and work collaboratively with both the parent and the child to foster a healthy and supportive environment. The psychologist should help the parent understand the normal process of individuation and the importance of forming social connections as part of their child's development. Additionally, encouraging open communication between the parent and the child can help address any misunderstandings or concerns.