The freezing response you experience when someone yells at you is a common reaction in the face of perceived threat or danger. It is a natural part of the "fight, flight, or freeze" response, which is a survival mechanism hardwired into our brains. When we perceive a threat, our body prepares to either fight the threat, run away (flight), or stay still and hope to avoid detection (freeze). Freezing can be especially prevalent when the threat feels overwhelming or when we believe that any action we take might worsen the situation.
The freezing response can be influenced by various factors, including past experiences, personal temperament, and the context of the situation. Some individuals may have a heightened freeze response due to past trauma or experiences of being in situations where they felt powerless or unable to escape.
To overcome the freezing response when someone yells at you, here are some strategies you can try:
Recognize the Trigger: Awareness is the first step in addressing the issue. Notice when and why you freeze in response to yelling. Understanding your triggers can help you work on them effectively.
Practice Deep Breathing: When you feel yourself freezing, take slow, deep breaths. Deep breathing activates the relaxation response and helps calm your nervous system.
Ground Yourself: Focus on your senses and your physical presence in the moment. Pay attention to the feel of the ground beneath your feet, the texture of an object in your hand, or the sounds in your environment.
Challenge Negative Thoughts: Try to identify any negative thoughts that might be reinforcing your freezing response. Remind yourself that you have the ability to cope with the situation, and the yelling is not a direct threat to your safety.
Set Boundaries: If possible, communicate your boundaries assertively. Let the other person know that yelling is not acceptable, and you'd prefer a calmer and more respectful conversation.
Practice Relaxation Techniques: Incorporate relaxation techniques into your daily routine, such as mindfulness meditation, yoga, or progressive muscle relaxation. These practices can help you manage stress and anxiety in general.
Seek Support: Talking to a therapist or counselor can be beneficial, especially if the freezing response is linked to past trauma or significant emotional experiences. A professional can help you explore the root causes and provide guidance on coping strategies.
Develop Communication Skills: Learning effective communication skills can empower you to respond assertively and calmly in challenging situations.
Remember that overcoming the freezing response may take time and practice. Be patient with yourself as you work on managing your reactions. If you find that the freezing response significantly impacts your daily life or well-being, consider seeking professional support from a mental health professional.