If you're experiencing mental health challenges or struggling with the issues you described, I strongly encourage you to seek help from a qualified mental health professional, such as a clinical psychologist or psychiatrist.
Psychosis, emotional numbness, and other challenges you mentioned can be complex and may require professional assessment, diagnosis, and treatment. A mental health professional can work with you to understand the root causes of these difficulties and develop a personalized treatment plan to address them.
Seeking therapy or counseling can be a crucial step in processing and overcoming these challenges. Therapists can help you explore your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors and provide guidance and support to work through any defense mechanisms or emotional barriers that might be affecting you.
Remember that seeking help is a sign of strength, and it's okay to reach out for support. Mental health professionals are trained to assist individuals in improving their well-being and helping them live fulfilling lives.
If you're in distress or need immediate support, consider reaching out to a crisis helpline or a mental health hotline in your country.
Take care of yourself, and don't hesitate to seek the support you need to work through these challenges.