It's important to note that I cannot diagnose or provide personalized advice. If you feel that you are struggling with the effects of a difficult childhood and believe it is impacting your mental health and intellectual abilities, I strongly recommend seeking help from a qualified mental health professional. They can provide a proper assessment and create a tailored treatment plan to address your specific needs.
It's not uncommon for childhood experiences to have long-lasting effects on a person's mental health and well-being. Some individuals may develop coping mechanisms, such as dissociation or "splitting," as a way to manage traumatic experiences. These coping mechanisms may have been adaptive during childhood but can become problematic in adulthood.
Therapy can be incredibly beneficial in helping you process past traumas, develop healthier coping strategies, and work through any difficulties you may be facing. Depending on your specific needs, a therapist may use various approaches, such as cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), trauma-focused therapy, or other evidence-based modalities.
Recovery and healing are often possible with the right support and professional guidance. Taking the step to seek help is a courageous decision, and a therapist can provide a safe and non-judgmental space for you to explore your feelings and experiences.
Remember that you don't have to go through this alone, and there are resources available to help you. Reach out to mental health professionals or support organizations in your area to find the assistance you need to begin your healing journey.