While I am not a mental health professional, I can provide some general information about potential signs of abuse after a split with a malignant narcissist and a covert narcissist. It's essential to note that not all people with narcissistic traits are abusive, but narcissists may display patterns of behavior that can be emotionally harmful to their partners, especially during and after a breakup. Here are some signs to watch for:
Malignant Narcissist:
- Retaliation and manipulation: A malignant narcissist may try to retaliate against their former partner for ending the relationship or asserting their independence. They may use manipulation tactics, like spreading rumors or gaslighting, to regain control or cause emotional harm.
- Threats or aggression: In some cases, a malignant narcissist might resort to threats or aggressive behavior to intimidate their ex-partner and exert power over them.
- Character assassination: They may engage in a smear campaign against their former partner, attempting to damage their reputation and credibility.
- Lack of empathy: A malignant narcissist is unlikely to show any remorse or concern for the pain they cause their ex-partner during or after the breakup.
- Attempts to hoover: "Hoovering" is a term used to describe when a narcissist tries to suck their ex-partner back into the relationship by offering false promises, love-bombing, or idealization.
Covert Narcissist:
- Manipulative victimhood: Covert narcissists may play the victim and act as though they are the ones who have been wronged, even if they were the primary instigators of the problems in the relationship.
- Emotional withdrawal: After a breakup, a covert narcissist might emotionally withdraw or give their ex-partner the silent treatment as a way to control or punish them.
- Using guilt and pity: They may try to elicit guilt or pity from their ex-partner to gain sympathy and attention.
- Triangulation: A covert narcissist might try to involve third parties, like friends or family members, to manipulate their ex-partner indirectly.
- Attempts to re-establish contact: They may reach out sporadically with messages or gestures to test whether their ex-partner is still emotionally invested or to maintain control.
It's crucial to remember that every person and situation is unique. If you suspect you've been in an abusive relationship with a narcissistic individual, consider seeking support from friends, family, or professional counselors who can help you navigate through the healing process. If you feel your safety is at risk, don't hesitate to reach out to local authorities or domestic violence support services.