I'm really sorry to hear that you're going through such a difficult time. It's important to recognize that abuse is never the fault of the person being abused. No one deserves to be mistreated or harmed, and it's crucial to remember that you are not to blame for the abuse you experienced.
Abuse can have a profound impact on a person's emotional well-being, self-esteem, and sense of self-worth. It's not uncommon for survivors of abuse to struggle with feelings of guilt, shame, and self-blame, but it's essential to understand that the responsibility lies with the abuser, not the victim.
It is not "playing the victim" to acknowledge the harm that has been done to you and the lasting effects it has had. Recognizing yourself as a victim of abuse is an important step towards healing and seeking support.
If your dad is judging you or not being understanding of what you've been through, it can be challenging to cope with, and it's crucial to find support from other sources. Consider reaching out to friends, other family members, or seeking help from a counselor or therapist who can provide a safe and supportive environment to work through your feelings and experiences.
Remember, you are not alone, and there are resources available to help you through this difficult time. Prioritizing your well-being and seeking support is essential for healing and moving forward. If you are in immediate danger or need urgent help, don't hesitate to reach out to a local helpline or emergency service.