I'm sorry to hear that you're experiencing this situation. It can be incredibly challenging and hurtful to feel unsupported in a situation of abuse. There can be various reasons why some people may appear to side with an abusive person, like your mother. Here are a few potential factors to consider:
Manipulation and control: Abusive individuals can be skilled at manipulating others and presenting a false image to the outside world. They might appear charming or innocent, making it difficult for others to see their abusive behavior.
Fear of confrontation: Confronting abuse can be uncomfortable and difficult for many people. Some individuals may choose to avoid the issue altogether to prevent conflict or because they don't know how to handle it.
Lack of awareness: Some people may not recognize the signs of abuse or may not fully understand the severity of the situation. They might not realize the impact it has on your life.
Denial: It's not uncommon for people to deny or downplay abusive behavior, especially if it involves someone they know well, like a family member. Acknowledging abuse may force them to confront uncomfortable truths.
Dependency: If some family members or individuals are financially or emotionally dependent on your mother, they may fear losing that support if they speak up against her.
Family dynamics: Family dynamics can be complicated, and there might be longstanding patterns of behavior that perpetuate enabling or excusing the abusive behavior.
Social stigma: In some cultures or communities, acknowledging abuse may carry social stigma or shame, making it difficult for people to openly address the issue.
Selective disclosure: Sometimes, people may not be aware of the full extent of the abuse because you might choose not to disclose it fully due to shame, fear, or concern for your own safety.
Remember that while understanding these reasons might help provide some insight, it doesn't excuse the behavior or the lack of support you're experiencing. Abuse is never acceptable, and everyone deserves to feel safe and protected. If you are in an abusive situation, it's crucial to seek help and support from people or organizations that can assist you, such as friends, family members who are more supportive, counselors, therapists, or support groups. They can provide the help you need and offer guidance on how to deal with the situation.