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Dealing with a verbally abusive and threatening adult child can be incredibly challenging, and finding a balance between setting boundaries and maintaining a relationship can be tough. Here are some steps to consider:

  1. Prioritize your safety and well-being: Your safety and emotional well-being should always be your top priority. If your adult child's behavior poses a serious threat to you or others in the household, it may be necessary to seek help from local authorities or a counselor.

  2. Set clear boundaries: Establish clear rules and boundaries for behavior in your home. Communicate these boundaries calmly and assertively to your adult child, letting them know what behavior is unacceptable and the consequences of crossing those boundaries. Be consistent in enforcing these boundaries.

  3. Seek professional help: Consider family counseling or therapy to address the issues within your relationship. A professional mediator can help facilitate communication and provide guidance on how to handle conflicts effectively.

  4. Encourage personal growth and responsibility: Encourage your adult child to seek personal growth and self-improvement. Suggest therapy or counseling for them to address their anger and emotional issues.

  5. Focus on communication: Foster open and respectful communication within your family. Encourage your adult child to express their feelings in a healthy manner and listen to their concerns. At the same time, ensure that they understand your perspective as well.

  6. Be patient and understanding: Changing behavior and repairing a relationship takes time. Be patient and try to understand what might be causing your adult child's behavior. It doesn't excuse abusive actions, but it may help you approach the situation with empathy.

  7. Seek support: Reach out to friends, family members, or support groups who have dealt with similar challenges. Sometimes, talking to others who have gone through similar situations can provide valuable insights and emotional support.

  8. Consider professional intervention: In some cases, an intervention from a therapist, counselor, or mediator may be necessary to facilitate productive conversations and work towards a resolution.

  9. Monitor your own reactions: Ensure that you are not inadvertently reinforcing or enabling your adult child's negative behavior. Be aware of how you respond to their actions and words.

  10. Evaluate the relationship: Sometimes, despite efforts to mend the relationship, it may be necessary to reevaluate the dynamics and whether the relationship is healthy for both parties. Sometimes, space and time apart can be beneficial for both you and your adult child to gain perspective.

Remember that it is essential to take care of yourself emotionally and physically throughout this process. If the situation becomes overwhelming or dangerous, don't hesitate to seek help from professionals or support services in your area.

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