The relationship between a scapegoat and their abuser is complex and can vary depending on the specific circumstances. In the context of family dynamics, the scapegoat is often a family member who is unfairly blamed and targeted for problems within the family, while the abuser is typically a parent, caregiver, or another family member who engages in emotional, psychological, or even physical abuse.
It is essential to recognize that abusive relationships are never healthy, and the feelings of the scapegoat toward their abuser can be conflicting and confusing. Here are some possible dynamics that can exist between a scapegoat and their abuser:
Love and Confusion: In some cases, the scapegoat may genuinely love their abuser, especially if the abuser is a parent or someone they have cared for deeply. This can create a sense of confusion and conflict, as the scapegoat may struggle to reconcile their love for the abuser with the harm they experience.
Fear and Intimidation: The scapegoat may fear their abuser due to the emotional, psychological, or physical abuse they have endured. This fear can be a significant factor in preventing the scapegoat from speaking out or leaving the abusive relationship.
Dependency: In family situations, the scapegoat may be financially or emotionally dependent on the abuser, which can make it challenging to break away from the abusive relationship.
Tolerance and Survival: The scapegoat might tolerate the abuser's behavior as a survival mechanism, especially if they believe that challenging the abuser could lead to more harm or abandonment.
Self-blame and Guilt: Scapegoats may internalize the blame placed on them by the abuser and believe that they deserve the mistreatment, leading to feelings of guilt and low self-esteem.
It's important to note that even if the scapegoat feels conflicting emotions or some level of attachment to the abuser, it doesn't justify the abusive behavior. Abuse is never acceptable, and individuals have the right to be treated with respect, kindness, and empathy in all relationships.
If you or someone you know is experiencing abuse, it's crucial to seek support from friends, family, or professional organizations that can help navigate the situation and provide assistance in leaving the abusive environment.