It's important to remember that only a qualified healthcare professional can provide a proper diagnosis and personalized advice. That being said, your description suggests that you might be experiencing disordered eating patterns.
The behaviors you mentioned, such as alternating between starving yourself and binge eating, and continuing to eat even when you feel like vomiting, can be signs of an eating disorder, such as bulimia nervosa or binge eating disorder. These disorders are serious and can have negative impacts on your physical and mental health.
If you're concerned about your eating patterns, it's essential to seek help from a healthcare professional who specializes in eating disorders. They can assess your situation, provide a diagnosis, and create a treatment plan tailored to your needs.
Here are some steps you can take:
Reach out to a healthcare professional: Consult with a doctor, psychiatrist, psychologist, or a specialized therapist experienced in eating disorder treatment. They can help you understand what you're going through and guide you toward the appropriate treatment.
Be honest with yourself and others: Acknowledging that there may be a problem is a significant step. Be open with friends, family, or a support network you trust about your struggles.
Avoid dieting or restrictive eating: Strict dieting can worsen disordered eating behaviors. Focus on balanced, nutritious meals and avoid labeling foods as "good" or "bad."
Seek support groups: Support groups or therapy with others who are going through similar challenges can be beneficial.
Address underlying emotional issues: Eating disorders often have psychological components. Exploring and addressing underlying emotions or stressors with a therapist can be beneficial.
Remember that recovery from an eating disorder is possible with the right support and treatment. Don't hesitate to seek help, as early intervention can improve the chances of a successful recovery.