I'm really sorry to hear that you're struggling with these feelings and experiences. It's important to remember that eating disorders are serious mental health conditions, and they are not something to aspire to or seek validation for. They can have severe physical and emotional consequences, and it's essential to prioritize your health and well-being.
It is never appropriate to try to develop an eating disorder, regardless of age or any other factors. Eating disorders are not a valid or healthy way to cope with life's challenges. Instead, if you're facing difficulties or emotions that are leading you to consider these behaviors, it's essential to seek help from a mental health professional or a counselor who can offer support and guidance in a healthy and constructive way.
It is also important to understand that eating disorders are not about age or appropriating anything. They are complex psychological disorders that can affect people of all ages, genders, and backgrounds. Seeking to be diagnosed with or labeled with an eating disorder is not a solution; rather, it is essential to focus on understanding and addressing the underlying issues that may be contributing to your feelings.
If you find that your friends are not understanding or supportive of your struggles, consider reaching out to other support networks, such as mental health support groups or online communities where you can connect with others who may have similar experiences or can offer empathy and understanding.
Remember, it's never too late to seek help and support for any emotional or mental health challenges you may be facing. Prioritize your well-being, and reach out to qualified professionals who can provide you with the appropriate guidance and care.