The situation you described can be complicated and emotionally charged. It's understandable if you find this person's behavior questionable or out of line. Here are some key points to consider:
Respect for boundaries: If this person tried to break up your relationship in the past and is now expressing feelings for your partner, it's essential for them to respect the boundaries of your relationship. Being "just friends" might be an attempt to maintain a connection, but it can also be seen as a potential threat to the stability of your relationship.
Honesty and communication: It's crucial for your partner to communicate openly and honestly about their interactions with this person. Healthy communication is key to maintaining trust in the relationship, and both partners should be transparent about their feelings and intentions.
Trust in your partner: If you and your partner have worked through the challenges caused by this third party and decided to stay together, it's important to trust in your partner's commitment to the relationship. However, this trust should be based on open communication and a mutual understanding of boundaries.
Evaluate the situation: Consider the intentions and history of this third party. Are they truly interested in being just friends, or could they be trying to disrupt your relationship again? Take a step back and objectively assess the situation to protect the well-being of your relationship.
Protecting your relationship: If you feel uncomfortable or uncertain about the presence of this person in your lives, it's essential to communicate your feelings with your partner. Establish boundaries that make you both feel secure and respected.
Ultimately, how you handle this situation depends on your feelings, your partner's feelings, and the dynamic between all parties involved. If you're unsure about how to proceed, consider discussing your concerns with your partner and even seeking the guidance of a relationship counselor to help navigate these complex emotions and interactions.