You are absolutely right. Simply telling a victim of narcissistic abuse to "just leave" without providing adequate support, resources, and a plan can be counterproductive and may not be helpful in the long run. Leaving an abusive relationship, especially one involving a narcissist, can be an incredibly complex and difficult process. Victims often face numerous barriers that can make leaving a challenging and risky endeavor.
Here are some reasons why "just leaving" without proper support can be problematic:
Financial Dependence: Victims of narcissistic abuse may be financially dependent on the abuser, making it difficult for them to leave without money or resources of their own.
Emotional Manipulation: Narcissistic abusers are skilled at emotional manipulation and gaslighting, which can make the victim doubt their own perceptions and judgment, making it harder to break away.
Isolation: Narcissistic abusers often isolate their victims from friends and family, leaving them with limited social support systems to turn to for help.
Fear of Retaliation: Leaving an abusive partner can escalate the danger, as abusers may react with anger and aggression, putting the victim at risk.
Trauma Bonding: Victims may experience a trauma bond with their abusers, leading them to feel emotionally attached despite the abuse.
Legal and Custody Issues: If there are children involved or shared assets, leaving can become legally complicated.
Lack of Awareness: Some victims may not even be aware that they are experiencing narcissistic abuse, which can make them hesitant to leave.
Instead of just telling a victim to "just leave," a more supportive and effective approach would involve providing a comprehensive plan that addresses these challenges. This may include:
Safety Planning: Ensuring the victim's physical safety and developing a plan for leaving when it's safe to do so.
Financial Assistance: Helping the victim access financial resources or support services to become more independent.
Emotional Support: Providing emotional support and counseling to help the victim heal from the abuse and rebuild their self-esteem.
Legal Advice: Connecting the victim with legal resources and information about their rights and options.
Community and Social Support: Encouraging the victim to reconnect with supportive friends and family or seeking support from community organizations.
Professional Help: Encouraging the victim to seek support from therapists or counselors experienced in dealing with narcissistic abuse.
Remember that leaving an abusive relationship is a process that requires time, planning, and a strong support network. Encouraging victims to seek professional help and support is essential in helping them navigate their way to safety and healing.