Yes, a narcissist can get upset if their significant other (SO) breaks up with them before the narcissist can do it first. While it's important to remember that not all individuals with narcissistic traits will react the same way, some common reactions from a narcissistic individual in this situation may include:
Narcissistic Injury: Narcissists have fragile egos and a strong need for validation and admiration. Being rejected or abandoned can be a significant blow to their self-esteem, leading to what is known as a "narcissistic injury." This can trigger anger, hurt, and even rage as they feel their self-worth is threatened.
Feeling Betrayed: Narcissists often see themselves as superior and expect others to recognize and cater to their needs. When someone ends the relationship before they can, it might be perceived as a betrayal of their assumed entitlement.
Fear of Losing Control: Narcissists like to maintain control in their relationships. If their partner takes the initiative to end the relationship, it can make the narcissist feel like they are losing control over the situation, which can lead to negative reactions.
Manipulative Tactics: Some narcissists might resort to manipulative tactics to try to win their partner back or to punish them for leaving. This can include love bombing (overwhelming them with affection), guilt-tripping, or using emotional manipulation to create doubt in their partner's decision to end the relationship.
Seeking Revenge: In extreme cases, a narcissist may seek revenge on their former partner for "abandoning" them. This could involve spreading rumors, engaging in smear campaigns, or trying to ruin their ex-partner's reputation.
It's essential to remember that a narcissistic individual's reactions can vary based on the severity of their narcissistic traits and their personality. Regardless, if you are ending a relationship with a narcissist, it's crucial to prioritize your own well-being and safety. Narcissistic relationships can be emotionally draining and potentially harmful, so seeking support from friends, family, or a mental health professional can be beneficial during and after the breakup.