It's not uncommon to have conflicting emotions after a breakup, especially if you have a history with someone who has hurt you multiple times. Wanting your ex back can stem from various reasons, including familiarity, attachment, and memories of the good times you shared.
However, it's essential to reflect on your feelings and consider the following:
Assess the reasons for wanting them back: Take some time to understand why you want your ex back. Are you seeking closure, validation, or comfort from the familiar? Understanding your motivations can help you make a more informed decision.
Consider the past patterns: Reflect on the reasons the relationship ended and the hurtful experiences you went through. Are there recurring negative patterns that could continue if you got back together? It's crucial to be realistic about the potential for change.
Focus on your well-being: Prioritize your emotional well-being and happiness. Consider whether getting back together is genuinely in your best interest and whether it will contribute to your overall growth and contentment.
Seek outside perspectives: Talk to friends, family, or a therapist about your feelings and experiences. They can offer an objective viewpoint and support you in making the right decision.
Set boundaries: If you decide to reconnect with your ex or remain in contact, establish clear boundaries to protect yourself from further hurt.
Avoid rushing into decisions: Give yourself time to heal and process the breakup before making any significant choices about the relationship.
In some cases, people can work through their issues and build a healthier relationship after a breakup. However, this requires both individuals to acknowledge their past mistakes, commit to personal growth, and actively work on improving the relationship dynamics.
Ultimately, only you can determine what's right for you. It's okay to feel conflicted, but it's crucial to prioritize your emotional well-being and make decisions that align with your long-term happiness and growth. If your ex has hurt you repeatedly and has not shown genuine efforts to change, it might be healthier to consider moving forward without them.