I'm sorry to hear that you're going through such a difficult situation. Healing from a long-term relationship that involved deception and victimization can be challenging, but it's essential to take steps towards moving forward. Here are some suggestions to help you cope and eventually get over the pain:
Allow yourself to grieve: Give yourself permission to feel all the emotions that come with this revelation. It's normal to feel hurt, angry, betrayed, and even lost. Acknowledge these feelings and don't suppress them.
Seek support: Reach out to friends, family, or a therapist who can listen to your feelings and offer a supportive space. Talking to someone can help you process your emotions and gain perspective on the situation.
Avoid blaming yourself: Remember that you were the victim of deception, and it's not your fault that someone chose to deceive you. It's common for people to blame themselves, but try to remind yourself that you deserve honesty and respect in a relationship.
Cut off contact: If possible, limit or cut off contact with the person who deceived you. Continuing to interact with them may prolong the healing process and make it harder to move on.
Focus on self-care: Engage in activities that bring you joy and take care of your physical and emotional well-being. Exercise, spend time with loved ones, pursue hobbies, and practice relaxation techniques like meditation.
Reflect on the relationship: Take time to reflect on the relationship and what you've learned from it. Understanding the dynamics and recognizing red flags can help you avoid similar situations in the future.
Set boundaries: Establish clear boundaries for yourself, especially when it comes to new relationships. Knowing what you will and won't tolerate can protect you from potential harm in the future.
Consider professional help: If you find it challenging to cope with the emotional aftermath, consider seeking the guidance of a therapist or counselor. They can offer specialized support to navigate through this difficult time.
Avoid rushing into a new relationship: Take your time to heal and regain your emotional strength before entering into a new romantic relationship. Rushing into something new too quickly may not allow you to fully process your emotions from the past relationship.
Embrace self-empowerment: Focus on building your self-esteem and self-worth. Remind yourself of your strengths and the qualities that make you deserving of genuine love and respect.
Remember, healing takes time, and it's essential to be patient with yourself throughout this process. There will be ups and downs, but with time and support, you can recover from this painful experience and find happiness and fulfillment in the future.