It's important to recognize that people's behavior and words after a breakup can be influenced by a wide range of emotions, personal issues, and coping mechanisms. Here are some possible reasons why a dumper might say hurtful things like "never really cared" or portray the dumpee as the "bad one":
Defense mechanism: Ending a relationship can be emotionally challenging, and some people resort to defense mechanisms to protect themselves from feelings of guilt, sadness, or vulnerability. Denying their feelings or portraying the dumpee as the "bad one" can be a way for the dumper to distance themselves emotionally from the situation.
Regret or guilt: The dumper might feel guilty about ending the relationship and regretful about their decision. Saying hurtful things could be a way to justify their actions or convince themselves that breaking up was the right choice.
Avoiding responsibility: By placing the blame on the dumpee, the dumper can avoid taking responsibility for their part in the relationship's challenges or its end. It's easier for some people to shift the blame onto the other person rather than facing their own shortcomings or mistakes.
Lack of emotional maturity: Immature individuals may resort to hurtful behavior or words as a way to cope with their own emotions and avoid dealing with the situation in a healthier manner.
Fear of vulnerability: Expressing true feelings of care or love after a breakup can make the dumper feel vulnerable or emotionally exposed. Saying they "never really cared" can be a way of shielding themselves from further emotional investment.
Desire to hurt the other person: Unfortunately, in some cases, a person might say hurtful things deliberately to hurt their former partner emotionally.
Regarding the situation you described, where the relationship seemed loving until he disappeared for a week and then wanted out, there could be underlying reasons that led to the sudden change in his feelings or behavior. It's possible that he might have been struggling with personal issues, doubts about the relationship, or other external factors that influenced his decision.
Regardless of the reasons for his behavior, it's essential to prioritize your own well-being and emotional health. Breakups can be painful, but it's crucial to surround yourself with supportive friends and family and give yourself time to heal. Avoid engaging in arguments or confrontations with the dumper, as it may not lead to any resolution or closure.
Remember that you are not defined by the hurtful words of someone else, and it's crucial to focus on your own growth and happiness. If needed, consider seeking support from a counselor or therapist to help process your emotions and navigate through this difficult time.