It's possible that your ex still cares about your children and wants to maintain a relationship with them even though the romantic relationship between you and her has ended. There could be several reasons for this behavior:
Bond with the children: During your relationship, your ex likely formed a bond with your children, and that emotional connection may still exist even after the breakup. She may genuinely care about their well-being and want to be a positive influence in their lives.
Nostalgia and attachment: Your ex may miss the family dynamic she had with you and your children. Spending time with the children might give her a sense of familiarity and attachment to the life she had when you were together.
Sense of responsibility: If your ex played a significant role in your children's lives during the relationship, she might feel a sense of responsibility or obligation to continue being involved in their lives.
Avoiding conflict: She might be trying to avoid conflict or negative emotions that could arise from cutting ties with your children. Ending all contact might be emotionally challenging for her, so she chooses to maintain a connection with the children instead.
Guilt or remorse: Your ex might feel guilty about the breakup and believe that maintaining a relationship with your children is a way to make up for any hurt caused during the breakup.
Fear of losing the children: If she developed a close bond with your children, she may fear losing that connection if she cuts off contact entirely.
It's essential to communicate openly with your ex about her intentions and feelings regarding the children. Understanding her perspective can help you navigate the situation more effectively. At the same time, it's crucial to prioritize the well-being of your children and ensure that their emotions and needs are being considered.
If the situation becomes challenging or confusing for your children, you might want to consider seeking professional guidance, such as family counseling, to help them process the changes in the family dynamics. A counselor can also help establish healthy boundaries and ensure that the children's best interests are at the forefront of any decisions made.