It's understandable that you may be feeling frustrated and confused about your ex's lingering anger, especially if you've made efforts to apologize and reconcile. While I cannot know the specific reasons for your ex's emotions and actions, there are several potential explanations for why this might be happening:
Lingering Hurt and Betrayal: Your ex may still be deeply hurt and betrayed by the things you said during the breakup. Emotions and wounds from a breakup can take a long time to heal, and it's possible that the hurtful words you used left a lasting impact on them.
Trust Issues: The hurtful words may have damaged the trust your ex had in you. Even if you've apologized, rebuilding trust can be a lengthy process, and they might still be cautious or doubtful about your sincerity.
Unresolved Emotions: Your ex might not have fully processed or resolved their feelings about the breakup and the things that were said. Holding onto these emotions could lead to them bringing it up repeatedly.
Lack of Closure: If the breakup was sudden or lacked closure, your ex might be struggling to come to terms with the end of the relationship. Bringing up past issues could be a way for them to seek closure or make sense of what happened.
Personal Growth and Healing: While you may have moved on and made efforts to change, your ex might still be working through their own personal growth and healing. They may not be ready to forgive and forget just yet.
Coping Mechanism: Revisiting past grievances might be a coping mechanism for your ex. Talking about it could be a way for them to process their emotions or express their pain.
Communication Style: Some individuals have a habit of rehashing past conflicts or arguments, even if the issues have been addressed and resolved. It may not necessarily be specific to your situation, but rather their communication style.
It's essential to remember that people have different ways of dealing with emotions and moving on from a breakup. While you've made efforts to apologize and take back your words, it's essential to respect your ex's feelings and give them the space they need to heal at their own pace.
Here are some steps you can consider taking:
Give them Space: Allow your ex the time and space they need to process their emotions without feeling pressured or rushed to forgive you.
Open Communication: If they bring up the past again, try to have an open and understanding conversation about how they feel. Active listening can be crucial in such situations.
Demonstrate Change: Continue showing through your actions that you have learned from the past and have genuinely changed.
Seek Closure: If possible, try to have a mature conversation about seeking closure on both ends to help move forward.
Focus on Your Well-Being: Remember to take care of yourself during this process as well. Breakups can be emotionally taxing, so consider seeking support from friends, family, or a therapist if needed.
Ultimately, healing and moving on from a breakup is a complex and individual journey. While you can express remorse and try to make amends, it's not entirely within your control to determine how your ex responds or when they'll be ready to let go of their anger. Focus on your own growth and well-being, and with time, things may improve for both of you.