Determining whether breaking up with your girlfriend in this situation was selfish depends on the context and your motivations. It's important to consider both perspectives in this scenario:
Your girlfriend's perspective: If your girlfriend felt codependent and expressed a need for personal growth, independence, and happiness, it shows that she was prioritizing her well-being and emotional health. It takes courage to recognize such feelings and communicate them in a relationship. By respecting her wishes and breaking up, you may have given her the space she needed to work on herself and find her own happiness.
Your perspective: Breaking up with someone because they want to find their own happiness and independence may be seen as a selfless act, as you acknowledged her feelings and needs and respected her decision. If you truly cared for her, you might have believed that she would be better off without the perceived codependent dynamic.
Ultimately, it's crucial to communicate openly and honestly in relationships. If your girlfriend felt that she was becoming overly dependent on you and needed space, it was essential to consider her feelings and understand her perspective.
In many cases, it's natural for people to undergo personal growth and development in relationships. It's possible that both of you needed space to explore your individual needs and desires. It doesn't necessarily mean that either of you acted selfishly; rather, it might indicate that you both recognized the importance of personal growth and emotional well-being.
Relationships can be complex, and sometimes, difficult decisions need to be made for the benefit of both parties involved. As long as you approached the situation with empathy and respect, you likely acted in good faith. However, it's always helpful to reflect on the situation, learn from it, and grow as an individual and as a partner in future relationships.