When someone abuses you but tries to blame you for the abuse, it is called "gaslighting." Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation in which the abuser seeks to make the victim doubt their own perceptions, memory, and sanity. The term originates from the 1938 play "Gas Light" and its subsequent film adaptations, where a husband attempts to convince his wife that she is going insane by dimming the gas lights in their home but denying that they are getting dimmer.
In the context of abuse, gaslighting is used by the abuser as a tactic to shift blame onto the victim and make them question their own reality. This can be a very harmful and distressing experience for the victim, as it can lead to self-doubt, confusion, and a sense of powerlessness. Gaslighting is often employed as a way for the abuser to maintain control over their victim and avoid taking responsibility for their abusive actions.