Individuals with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) can experience intense and rapidly changing emotions, which can influence their feelings and perceptions of relationships. It is not uncommon for someone with BPD to express strong emotions, such as feeling deeply in love and wanting to marry someone, even in relatively short relationships like three months.
Several factors could contribute to your girlfriend expressing such intense emotions:
Idealization: People with BPD may idealize their partners during the early stages of a relationship. They might see their partner as the perfect person who can fulfill all their emotional needs and make them feel complete.
Fear of abandonment: As mentioned earlier, individuals with BPD often fear abandonment and rejection. Expressing deep love and commitment early on might be a way for them to create a strong bond and ensure that the relationship is secure.
Emotional intensity: People with BPD experience emotions intensely, which can lead to them expressing their feelings in a way that may seem overwhelming to others.
Need for validation and reassurance: BPD can lead to low self-esteem and a constant need for validation from others. By expressing that you are the love of her life and talking about marriage, she might be seeking reassurance and confirmation of your commitment to her.
Romanticizing relationships: Individuals with BPD might have a tendency to romanticize relationships and believe in a "soulmate" or "love at first sight" kind of connection, which can lead to intense expressions of love early on.
It's important to understand that while these feelings are real to your girlfriend, they may not necessarily reflect a long-term commitment or stability in the relationship. BPD can lead to relationship challenges, and individuals with BPD may experience mood swings, intense fears of rejection or perceived slights, and difficulty with emotional regulation.
As with any relationship, it's crucial to communicate openly and honestly with your partner about your feelings and expectations. If you have concerns or feel overwhelmed by the intensity of her emotions, it's okay to express that and seek support for both of you. Additionally, it may be beneficial for both of you to explore therapy or counseling, either individually or as a couple, to navigate the challenges that can arise in a relationship with someone who has BPD.
Remember, a diagnosis of BPD doesn't define a person entirely, and individuals with BPD can have successful and fulfilling relationships with the right support and understanding.