"Splitting" is a term used in BPD to describe the tendency to view things and people in extremes, as all good or all bad. This can lead to volatile emotions and instability in relationships. If you're experiencing splitting and want to work on stopping this pattern, here are some tips:
Recognize the Pattern: The first step is becoming aware of when you are engaging in splitting behavior. Pay attention to your thought patterns and emotions, especially in the context of your significant other. Recognizing the pattern can help you catch yourself in the moment.
Practice Mindfulness: Mindfulness can help you stay present in the moment and observe your thoughts and emotions without judgment. When you notice yourself starting to split, take a step back, and practice mindfulness to ground yourself.
Challenge Extreme Thoughts: When you catch yourself thinking in extremes, challenge those thoughts. Ask yourself if there's evidence to support the extreme view or if there might be other perspectives to consider.
Emotion Regulation: Develop healthy strategies for managing intense emotions. This might include deep breathing exercises, meditation, journaling, or engaging in activities that bring you joy and relaxation.
Validate Your Emotions: It's essential to acknowledge and validate your emotions, even if they are intense. Avoid judging yourself for feeling a certain way, but work on understanding why you feel that way.
Communicate with Your Partner: Open communication is crucial in any relationship, especially when dealing with BPD. Let your significant other know about your struggles with splitting and how they can support you. Share your efforts to work on this issue together.
Seek Professional Help: Consider working with a therapist or counselor who specializes in BPD. Therapy can provide you with valuable tools and coping strategies to address splitting and other challenges associated with the condition.
Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT): DBT is a widely recognized and effective therapy for individuals with BPD. It focuses on developing skills for emotional regulation, distress tolerance, interpersonal effectiveness, and mindfulness.
Take Breaks if Needed: If you feel overwhelmed or caught up in extreme emotions, it's okay to take a break from interactions with your partner until you can approach the situation with a clearer mindset.
Be Patient with Yourself: Changing thought patterns and behaviors takes time and effort. Be patient and compassionate with yourself as you work on reducing splitting tendencies.
Remember that managing BPD and stopping splitting is a process, and setbacks are normal. Celebrate your progress, and don't hesitate to seek help and support from loved ones and professionals.