It's evident that you have a caring and compassionate nature, but it's crucial to prioritize your own safety and well-being. Supporting someone who is verbally and physically abusive towards you can be emotionally draining and damaging to your own mental health. Here are some steps to help you get past this situation without feeling like you've abandoned her:
Recognize the importance of self-care: Understand that taking care of yourself is not selfish but necessary for your own mental and emotional health. You cannot effectively help someone else if you are emotionally depleted.
Set boundaries: Establish clear boundaries with your ex-partner regarding financial support and communication. Let her know that abusive behavior is not acceptable, and you will not tolerate it. Stick to these boundaries consistently.
Seek support from others: Reach out to friends, family, or support groups to share your feelings and experiences. Talking to others can provide perspective and validation for your decision to set boundaries.
Consider professional help: Talk to a therapist or counselor about your feelings and the dynamics of your relationship. A professional can help you navigate through complex emotions and provide guidance tailored to your situation.
Offer support in non-financial ways: If you still want to support her in some way, consider providing resources or information about organizations that can help her with her needs. However, avoid putting yourself in direct contact with her if it compromises your safety.
Understand your limitations: Recognize that you cannot fix or change someone else's behavior, especially if they are unwilling to change themselves. You can only control your own actions and responses.
Accept that you can't rescue her: As much as you might want to help her, remember that you cannot rescue someone who is not willing to help themselves or who continues to harm you.
Forgive yourself: Understand that setting boundaries and prioritizing your safety does not make you a bad person. Forgive yourself for any guilt or feelings of abandonment, as you are making a necessary and healthy choice.
Focus on your own growth: Shift your focus towards personal growth and self-improvement. Engage in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment.
Stay firm in your decision: It may be challenging to maintain boundaries, especially if your ex-partner tries to manipulate or guilt-trip you. Stay firm in your decision and remind yourself why it's necessary for your well-being.
Remember that helping someone in an abusive relationship is complicated and emotionally challenging. It's okay to step back and prioritize your own safety and emotional health. If you feel overwhelmed or uncertain about how to proceed, don't hesitate to seek professional advice or assistance to navigate through this difficult situation.