It's essential to be cautious when making generalizations about any group of people, including those with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). While individuals with BPD might struggle with emotional regulation and interpersonal relationships, it is not accurate to say that they "always" hurt other people's feelings, especially those who love them. People with BPD, like everyone else, can have a wide range of behaviors and experiences.
Borderline Personality Disorder is a complex mental health condition characterized by difficulties in managing emotions, forming stable relationships, and maintaining a consistent self-image. It can lead to intense mood swings, impulsive behaviors, and challenges in understanding and empathizing with others' feelings. Here are some reasons why individuals with BPD may sometimes exhibit behaviors that could hurt others:
Emotional dysregulation: People with BPD often struggle to regulate their emotions effectively. They might experience intense emotional states that can lead to impulsive or reactive behaviors, potentially causing harm to others.
Fear of abandonment: A common fear for individuals with BPD is being abandoned or rejected. This fear can lead them to act out or behave in ways that may push people away, even unintentionally hurting those who love them.
Idealization and devaluation: People with BPD might have difficulty maintaining a balanced view of themselves and others. They may alternate between idealizing and devaluing loved ones, leading to turbulent relationships and emotional turmoil for both parties.
Splitting: Splitting is a defense mechanism common in BPD where individuals perceive others as all good or all bad, with little room for nuance. This cognitive distortion can lead to intense reactions and hurtful behaviors.
Childhood trauma: Many individuals with BPD have experienced significant trauma during childhood, which can influence their emotional development and interpersonal behaviors later in life.
It's important to remember that having BPD doesn't excuse hurtful behavior, but it helps to understand the underlying reasons behind it. People with BPD can benefit from therapy, such as dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), which can provide coping strategies for managing emotions and improving relationships.
Moreover, not all individuals with BPD consistently hurt others' feelings. With the right support, self-awareness, and treatment, individuals with BPD can develop healthier ways of relating to others and managing their emotions. Like everyone else, they deserve understanding, empathy, and compassion as they work through their challenges.